The Changing of the Leaves

A wave strikes when I am not looking

I miss gazing into your eyes

The water washes over my body then slips away

 

Summer heat hits when I am not looking

I am exhausted; I lost myself in us

An early spring; the rose blooms too soon

 

A storm moves in when I am not looking

Frozen in my steps, the storm is upon me

The thunder roared with staggering sound

 

Rain falls when I am not looking

I am drenched; in what I know I can feel

The rain pounds; the hard ground breaks away

 

Cool night air surrounds me when I am not looking

I am at peace; I embrace my aloneness

The early bird rises with a song of rejuvenation

 

Autumn breeze arrives and I am looking

I let it all go; fate becomes my friend

Beyond words – the changing of the leaves.

 

 

Jackie Blair McSween

5 comments

  1. Thom Olsen

    this is a good piece (i should even say, another good piece, jacky, because i have also liked very much at least one other poem of yours, as i have also been glad of your visuals) / i am very spare anymore when i write, and urge always to find the least words to say what is needed (even in the music of the poetry), so, would suggest finding a way to omit, for instance, too many uses of the word ‘i’, a difficult task, let me say, because it is almost written into verbal communication, but worth it somehow / i could say more, and would did you want to know it, either here or by email, but know enough by now to keep my peace / this is a good poem

  2. pointsthruprose

    Thanks for your comment Thom and I totally appreciate what you are saying. I have been learning this from Joanna and from studying your poetry. This piece I wrote a few years ago and I agree it could be said in fewer words, but I liked the flow and repeating patterns in it. Poetry is like Art – It can always be changed and Is it ever finished?
    Jackie

  3. Thom Olsen

    it’s been in my head for a few days now, so this bit of compositional advice i acquired from some source unremembered feels apt to place here / [by the way, i have trouble with the following suggestion, so i am only stating it to have it said, not because i necessarily agree with it, though it does keep me thinking] / if you like something in your composition, throw it out

    • pointsthruprose

      Thanks again Thom for your comments. I read these a few days ago and have been thinking about your words. I have been having difficulty writing lately, simply because I am finding words limiting so I have been spending my time painting.
      The law/rule (can’t find the right word) in your comment is relevant for me in my painting as well. This is apparent with my most recent post “Panoramic Palindrome”
      With the rocks, I said too much.

      Jackie

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